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Holy balls this weekend was full-on, but it was really good for showing where things are getting better.
Friday was a theatre night. Alfred Deakin is Afraid of the Dark. Written by a local about Australia's second, fifth and seventh prime minister. It was a memory play, which created an interesting format. Was also amused to note the IRL weather's dramatic timing during the show.
Saturday was a board game day and then on to Paramatta for a Spice Girls Singalong hosted by a group called Lady Sings it Better. Basically a comedy cabaret group that is usually covering male written songs and calling them out for their bullshit.
It was a fun night, and a fun day. Was interested to note that I didn't have near as much of the usual grumpiness I get at people by "that point of the day" during the board games. Most of my agitation afterwards was tiredness. Also, defs can't drink as hard on this medication mix as normal. Alas.
Sunday was .. weird? I dunno, I think the tiredness from Friday and Saturday just crept in a bit further. Plus, discovered that a former guildmate was killed in a hit-and-run. The main activity for the day was a book giveaway at a friend's place. She's moving and thus trying to get rid of excess things. Picked up several things to add to my backlog. But definitely got hit by tireds and thus the somewhat low feelings that come with that. Less self-deprecating and more irritation/grumpiness.
Overall, I think it's improvement.
This morning, my groove was entirely thrown off by a phone call from a coworker - forgot the berries in my breakfast, left my fast charger at home. Also still feeling really tired. Think there was just too much this weekend.
Always learning. We'll get there.
Friday was a theatre night. Alfred Deakin is Afraid of the Dark. Written by a local about Australia's second, fifth and seventh prime minister. It was a memory play, which created an interesting format. Was also amused to note the IRL weather's dramatic timing during the show.
Saturday was a board game day and then on to Paramatta for a Spice Girls Singalong hosted by a group called Lady Sings it Better. Basically a comedy cabaret group that is usually covering male written songs and calling them out for their bullshit.
It was a fun night, and a fun day. Was interested to note that I didn't have near as much of the usual grumpiness I get at people by "that point of the day" during the board games. Most of my agitation afterwards was tiredness. Also, defs can't drink as hard on this medication mix as normal. Alas.
Sunday was .. weird? I dunno, I think the tiredness from Friday and Saturday just crept in a bit further. Plus, discovered that a former guildmate was killed in a hit-and-run. The main activity for the day was a book giveaway at a friend's place. She's moving and thus trying to get rid of excess things. Picked up several things to add to my backlog. But definitely got hit by tireds and thus the somewhat low feelings that come with that. Less self-deprecating and more irritation/grumpiness.
Overall, I think it's improvement.
This morning, my groove was entirely thrown off by a phone call from a coworker - forgot the berries in my breakfast, left my fast charger at home. Also still feeling really tired. Think there was just too much this weekend.
Always learning. We'll get there.
Dose increase!
31/10/18 08:04Lexapro: 5mg
Lamictal: 100mg
Today we start a new game of is this side effect or just poor sleep. Apparently. Next check-in is in 3 weeks.
Broke down and got a pill cutter because fuck trying to cut the 10mg Lexapro pills manually.
Note to self, tearing my fingers apart with the skin picking. See if that urge does anything with this increased dose, but also see if getting proper sleep helps?
Sleep, the cornerstone of any mental health treatment and yet, such a pain in the ass.
Edit: Oh, supposed to be tracking my lows if I have them. Admittedly, had about an hour of feeling a bit flat last night, though was also tired. ~so~
Lamictal: 100mg
Today we start a new game of is this side effect or just poor sleep. Apparently. Next check-in is in 3 weeks.
Broke down and got a pill cutter because fuck trying to cut the 10mg Lexapro pills manually.
Note to self, tearing my fingers apart with the skin picking. See if that urge does anything with this increased dose, but also see if getting proper sleep helps?
Sleep, the cornerstone of any mental health treatment and yet, such a pain in the ass.
Edit: Oh, supposed to be tracking my lows if I have them. Admittedly, had about an hour of feeling a bit flat last night, though was also tired. ~so~
After this morning, I'm more inclined to think yesterday's drowsy adventures were in fact weather or otherwise related, not new meds. Which is to say, awakeness is fine and no impact to crisis handling ability at work. Oi.
Part of my homework with the new psych is to read this book to see how much of it resonated with me.
34 highlights later (and 50% in), it seems like a lot is resonating. So, I'm defs optimistic about this treatment path.
External things... Irritated with a friend for piking on multiple social things this last week. Resolved to bring it up with him if he does it again on Saturday. Slept ok last night, through the night at the very least. Got in bed around 9:30. Got to sleep probably 10:30? There's some likely less than healthy screen time to wind down. Note to self, check blue light filters on tablet.
And now, back to work. Apparently I have stuff to do.
Edit: That's interesting. It's 2pm and I haven't had lunch yet. Other food - two slices pizza, 1 barley+ bar, 4 vitawheat 9 grains, 2 custard cream biscuits, 1 mini kitkat (2 fingers). Last food was around 11.
Part of my homework with the new psych is to read this book to see how much of it resonated with me.
34 highlights later (and 50% in), it seems like a lot is resonating. So, I'm defs optimistic about this treatment path.
External things... Irritated with a friend for piking on multiple social things this last week. Resolved to bring it up with him if he does it again on Saturday. Slept ok last night, through the night at the very least. Got in bed around 9:30. Got to sleep probably 10:30? There's some likely less than healthy screen time to wind down. Note to self, check blue light filters on tablet.
And now, back to work. Apparently I have stuff to do.
Edit: That's interesting. It's 2pm and I haven't had lunch yet. Other food - two slices pizza, 1 barley+ bar, 4 vitawheat 9 grains, 2 custard cream biscuits, 1 mini kitkat (2 fingers). Last food was around 11.
Day 1 Med Change
10/10/18 07:57Lexapro: 15mg (decreased dose)
Lamictal: 25mg (new medication)
The weather is really shitty today and I woke up not wanting to get up/go into work so it's hard to say if the sleepy sensations are from the Lamictal or just *glances out the window at the gloom* yeah.
It's almost an hour since I started writing this and I seem to be perking up with caffeine. Sweet nectar juice.
---
Background for those playing at home... Recently got off my ass and saw a psychiatrist. She's decided I probably have Bipolar II. After reading select chapters from the book she assigned me, and going back over behaviour patterns, I'm sort of feeling like "oh". So, today is the first day of starting a new med routine to hopefully get me to something that will actually work.
Fingers crossed.
Lamictal: 25mg (new medication)
The weather is really shitty today and I woke up not wanting to get up/go into work so it's hard to say if the sleepy sensations are from the Lamictal or just *glances out the window at the gloom* yeah.
It's almost an hour since I started writing this and I seem to be perking up with caffeine. Sweet nectar juice.
---
Background for those playing at home... Recently got off my ass and saw a psychiatrist. She's decided I probably have Bipolar II. After reading select chapters from the book she assigned me, and going back over behaviour patterns, I'm sort of feeling like "oh". So, today is the first day of starting a new med routine to hopefully get me to something that will actually work.
Fingers crossed.
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